burn

The tightrope sways under the sudden weight as she gingerly takes a step forward. Cheers erupt as she lifts her hands up in a triumph motion, the roar of the crowds filling up the void in her heart, "isn't this what you've always wanted? don't deny yourself of your victory."

Striking the perfect smile on her face as she struggles to keep her balance, the thoughts "don't worry, it will end soon, sooner than you think" begin to cloud her mind.

Quote

我以為那是一條走不完的路，可不經意間就成了孤身一人。肩膀旁邊的那個位置空了出來，搭在一起走的那個人，那些人，甚麼時候走出了你的生命，你不會知道。

永遠不要懷疑，你正經歷著生命中最好的時刻。
 You just don′t know it.

excerpt from a letter to you

"I'm tired, always tired but unwilling to give it all up."
the question is will you receive the letter in time?

Intense.

Every time I send word, a little part of my
heart goes along. I send them off together, in a bid to revisit,
on a journey              back
and

hoping for the best, hoping that there will not be repeats. and I am often reminded again of how reality is different,
always different from my hopes. The footsteps are lost

lost

on a road that no one travels on anymore                          (except me)
crushed by the expectations of tomorrow, battered with the anticipation of sunrise



truth is I can no longer see, no longer wait in a place where I have no placing
but Because they
perish
in the raw fire, piece by piece, bit by bit, along with the forgotten letters.

Change

I should take my own advice more often.

Sometimes when you meet people from your past, the difference is glaring and you don't know who was the one that changed, and you don't think of them, you realised that you can live just fine without them, and the scary thing is that the idea doesn't scare you at all. You don't miss the person they've became, or the you now just don't miss them anymore.

Take my heart, take my soul, take my money.

I had a spark but it dimmed

Of all the relationships that were lost, I regretted letting go of the one with my sister the most. This is a strange feeling. The simplest way of going through with life is to be easily contented and not covet, lessen the fuel and it will settle down. To chase the impossible like a game and live as you get lost in your experiences, but take time to look at your surroundings, are they still accepting? Is there still a warm spot reserved for you in the warmth of their homes? Look beyond, see beyond the acts and trust not only your eyes but also your heart.

Carried Away

I realise that what I really lack is passion, which is why it isn't suitable.
How do I find my passion?

psychotherapy treatment

So I saw a study on how blogging about your troubles help you feel better as compared to keeping a journal.

I was trying to keep a journal but I didn't write in it as regularly as I would have wanted to. It is pretty dry having to recount your day again at night.

My troubles are how I don't have a dream, my dream is simple, perhaps too simple I think, for I fear having huge dreams and complicated ones. I would rather live with a simpler dream as compared to having a complicated one - because it simply means having to do more work. It sums up to me being lazy and feeling that I have achieved pretty much what I have asked for in this life; in these few short years.

I have fear, fear of the uncertainty and all, which is foolish I believe, because fear is False Realities Appearing Real.

So in all, I think I should just sit down one day to properly plan out what I want to do, what I want to achieve, my dreams and hopes.

I want to come up with a bucket list too, it'll motivate me to get off my butt to do what I want.

Better to die young than live and die with regrets.

We are like a family

Shared between the fights throughout the years
There is not a time but now when
I see so clearly
The fog sometimes block my view
and all that lingers are memories I imagined.
This is the end that is not wished upon

Update update, school's busy and I'm having one of those crazy mood swings where I switch from feeling normal to slightly upset to normal to upset to paranoid.

I found my knitting needles (almost immediately after that post too), I'm working on something now but I don't think I have enough yarn for it.

Fictions are so hard to write when you have writer's block, well, I'll have to come up with something because I have to submit it tomorrow.

Here, have a nice quote from emma stone

“I think the number one thing that I find important is the importance of honesty with your friends and your parents, if you can be. But I think that telling people how you really feel, being who you truly are, being safe and taking care of yourself is the most important thing.”

—	Emma Stone

I can only find one of my knitting needles that are from the better set. :(

I was checking back on my posts and the previous video was deleted so I changed it to this one!
This is a really fun song.

I feel incredibly sad when I come to terms that things will never be the same again.

I am not being negative here, I just know, it’s the same as how nc will never happen again, the same period of time that us platoonmates had, we can never go back to that time again, and sometimes I am worried, worried that the memories that we are creating together now and in the future will never match up to what we have experienced. 

See, see, since it's the holidays and I do need a space for me to collect my thoughts, I've done slight adjustments to my blog. Here's hoping I'll post more often!